Come on, here we go!
Just do it. Here we go, blow, blow!
You spend five minutes-- No! Uh, uh, uh!
Oh, boom!
One, two, three. Free parking.
Bam, Top Hat lands on a free parking,
rich get richer.
Why do you always get the top hat? He keeps it in his underwear drawer.
It's the sock hutch, and it's useful. You're both nuts.
If you're not the race car, just kill yourself.
Dad! Oh, sorry, Maddy, nice, nice Thimble.
It's a gumdrop. Sure it is, sweetie.
So, Dad, apropos of nothing, when are you leaving?
Be a couple of days, I've got a big meeting.
Still taking advantage of those failed dry cleaners?
They're closing, anyway.
They want to unload those signed celebrity head shots.
If they are sitting on a pre-KRP Loni Anderson and don't recognise the value,
their money's ours for the taking. Top Hat thinking, Ben.
I could use you on this.
I gotta take this.
Randy Fox International. Please hold,
he's on the other line with the Governor.
Fox here. Yes?
So classic.
OK, I know that you guys always did this stuff together
but it'd be nice if he asked me to go once in a while.
I'm the one going back to college, I am going to study business--
Did you get accepted? No, I didn't-No, not yet.
Still, it would be a good opportunity.
No, look, you're on those committees at Maddy's school.
I feel you are about to patronise me. I haven't started.
It's the tone in your voice.
You're probably learning rudimentary budget issues.
Oh? Yeah? You know, I think that's valuable.
I think that's also a bit more Wheelbarrow speed.
Our dry cleaner sounds primed and ready. Dad, can I go instead of Ben?
You what? Sure, what the hell?
What? Dad-- That's really great.
Thank you for this opportunity.
Dad-- Excuse me, Ben.
Can you be a big boy and take care of my committee meeting tonight for me?
Thank you so much! OK, great, bye!
Come on, honey, I'll bring you up to speed. That's a big mistake, Dad.
You're going to blow that. That dry cleaner is not going to...
She's going to suck!
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Ooh, gosh.
Uh! Phew!
How did you pay for all that stuff, did somebody die?
Oh, my God. Did you kill someone?
Buddy's divorce has heated up and he needed to hide some assets from his ex-wife.
He's transferred everything over to me for safe keeping.
All the cash, the bar, the mobile tanning booth.
Yes!
I thought Buddy was already divorced. Oh, so did I.
He just said that to get me into bed.
I know, yeah. Sometimes I don't know where he ends and I begin.
As a result of increased nut allergies on campus,
we've added several nuts to our list of banned nuts.
The complete list of banned nuts is,
peanuts, walnuts, almonds--
this next one's tough for me to accept-- pistachios.
I just love 'em.
This guy's perfect. He's selling his dry cleaning business after 40 years.
I am nervous. I've never done anything like this before
so I'm-- You are going to be great.
We'll just tug on his heartstrings a little.
I'm not good with people. I'll make this easy for you.
Were you in plays at school?
That was a question?
Do you actually not know if I ever did a play in school?
Oh, yeah. I remember one or... or... many plays.
My point is, you were able to do that
because you didn't have to think what you were going to say.
Yeah, so? So I'll write a little script for you.
You can memorise the lines, problem solved. That might work.
Let's do some acting. There you go.
With the laundry man.
Uh, hickories-- I've never had a hickory nut.
I was such an idiot, you know?
I don't know why I was surprised Kate took that from me.
It's like my dad sets me up and my sister just knocks me down
like I'm some gullible bowling pin.
Moving onto the annual father-daughter dance.
Honestly! What, do fathers and daughters run everything now?
It has to stop. It's madness.
Who's with me? I say, let's stop glorifying fathers and daughters
What about mothers and sons, man?
What about uncles, you know?
Why don't we call this the uncle-child dance?
You know what? That's probably a bad call.
Why not call it the parent-child dance?
I mean, that sounds like something that no-one would call the police about.
I'm sorry, are you volunteering to organise the dance?
No.
No, no, no, not at all. Because I was hoping your sister
would head up the committee.
Kate planned the fall fundraiser and quite frankly it was a little big magical.
Let me tell you something right now, OK?
You forget Kate, cos I'm going to run that dance.
I'm going to run it into the ground.
Who here's in favour of me taking over the dance?
You all say aye. Ben, there's no vote.
It's just who's ever willing to do it.
I accept your nomination.
With pleasure.
OK, I want you to take everything you know about dances.
I want you to stuff it into a bag.
Put a gag in it. Not so that it can't breathe but so that it can't scream.
Tie it tight, and then I want you to throw that bag over a bridge.
Because that's where old ideas belong.
Why do we have to throw it over a bridge?
I'm in the market for some big ideas here, guys.
Come on! Norman? Can I go to the bathroom?
Are you one of those kids that thinks best on the can?
Then sit and squeeze my friend.
Let's think of some ideas, you know, brainstorm.
Maddy? We can have a mini-pony.
Bigger!
Norman? A regular pony.
OK, OK!
Now we're talking. All right, let's keep going. Who else?
Mashed potato bars.
Weird and memorable.
We could make it snow, like they do when we go skiing.
A winter wonderland.
We could get some chocolate milk ice luges.
Maybe some snow-cone machines.
OK, OK, we could rent a couple of air conditioners.
What about a DJ dressed like an Eskimo? Inuit.
Into it? I love it! What are our projected costs so far?
Well, working on the list you just made, 3,000.
OK, and what's our total budget for the dance?
$500.
$500? Good God, that's not even going to cover the bike valet.
Mr Soo, let's get down to brass tacks. You're looking to retire.
I want to take all these pictures of your hands. I'll write a number down
that I think you will find more than generous.
What? Are you out to lunch? That is way too much.
We don't even know if these are legit.
Each one of these people was a very loyal customer.
Forgive her. She may not recognise an original Mr Belvedere but I do!
Christopher Hewett, very good man. Luckily, he was very sweaty.
What do you say, Soo, are you going to sell?
How about that, a dry cleaner's taking me to the cleaners!
I don't think so. Katie, it looks like our dream is going
to die before it had a chance to begin.
You're up. What?
It's the false exit, go! Oh!
Can I just ask you one more question? OK.
Do you have kids? I do. I wanted them to take this over,
but one of them plays video games professionally
and the other one designs blue jeans.
I have nothing but shame. Sorry to hear that. It must be difficult
that your children don't understand how special it is to work with your father.
Mr Soo, may I call you Xiao-Xian?
Xiao-Xian, I know that you may not be able to make your dream
of working with your kids come true,
but if you would consider gong into business with us,
you'd be helping this father build a family business of his own.
Tell you what, let me think about it, then I'll get back to you.
Thank you very much, Mr Soo, call me. Thank you very much, Xiao-Xian.
Yeah, Panima, I'm looking at the catalogue and I want everything page 4-16.
Yeah, you're welcome. Thank you.
Hi, I'm looking for the British hussy who's sitting on my husband.
Oh, I think she's home with her daughter Maddy. I'm sorry.
I know it's you and I'm onto your little scheme with Buddy.
I don't know what you're talking about, Buddy's wife, I just work here.
I don't care about Buddy, OK?
You can have his little Swiss bald-- piece of nothing self.
But the money... that is mine, OK?
I made that man everything he is. I am the brains behind all of this.
So if you're even thinking of going to spend that money, let's go.
What... What, like, fight?
Girl, please, I could break you in half.
Let's go spend some of those Buddy bucks, OK?
I thought you wanted to fight.
You are going to take me to the fanciest restaurant in this town
and then you gonna watch me eat.
Yeah? Oh, yeah, and it's gonna take a while.
All right. Cos I carry on, honey. I send stuff back.
Silverware, back! Water, back! Food, back.
I am a nightmare.
I am oddly intrigued.
Boom!
Go for it. Kate Fox.
Yes, I will be there. Thank you.
What's the matter? That was the college admissions office.
They want to do the interview. Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
You had in interview the first time you went to college.
You don't remember? I threw up in my mouth, Dad,
and then I swallowed it right in front of the lady.
She was, like, 'Ewww!' and it all was downhill from there.
I came home in tears. You came home in tears a lot.
I guess self-confidence is not my strong suit. Urgh.
That's why you've got a dad. I'll be there.
We'll do it like we did it today. Memorise a few talking points,
tug at their heartstrings, boom, you're in. Problem solved.
OK. OK.
This place is all right. But my food is a little under-cooked.
Well you did order chicken tacos in a sushi restaurant.
Power move. That's...
..magnificent.
Didn't work out between me and Buddy cos things between us were purely physical.
I could tell you some tales.
I had him in an elevator. I had him on an escalator.
I had him in a swimming pool. In a typing pool.
Backstage at the Allman Brothers' concert. On stage at a Jonas Brother's concert.
I... cannot compete with that.
You don't have to. What y'all got going on is something deeper.
That's why he gave you his money, cos he trusts you.
He is... so stupid. He's not going to have any money.
That's hilarious. That's a really good one.
British girl, do you have any idea why I made you take me out tonight?
I don't know, you just... You wanted to watch me starve to death
while you stuffed your face and I got really light-headed
and just... I got so dizzy, as well.
No. I wanted to meet the woman... Yes.
That Buddy has fallen in love with.
Yeah!
No, he hasn't.
Do you love him? No, I don't.
What is...
OK, just asking. Yeah.
What if I did?
You would be in so much trouble.
Pow! Bam! Nnng!
Yeah!
Girl, you can go.
Mm-hm. Here.
Boom, take the check.
Hey, there, Mr Carruthers.
So how's the dance coming? Glad you asked.
Turns out 500 bucks doesn't buy a lot of magic.
You know, unless you want us to have a cash juice bar.
But personally that feels a little gauche.
Yeah, I'm not putting my name on that.
Well, Ben and... I'm sorry, do you have a child here?
No, but my parents baby-sit his niece. OK.
Look, you don't have to spend a lot of money to organise a successful event.
Just ask your sister. I don't need to ask my sister.
You are in the middle of a sibling rivalry, Dave, OK?
Don't shake the beehive. No-one understands that a snow machine
in this country costs money. Dollar dollar-bills, y'all.
OK, Ben. Thank you so much for volunteering your time.
Maybe it's best if I just take it from here.
I'm sorry. Are you asking me to stand down?
Yeah, I'm afraid I am. You're making a huge mistake, Dave, huge.
This dance could have put you on the map.
Sure could've. Well...
I'm sorry it didn't work out, but thank you and goodbye, Ben.
And the son of Ben's niece's baby-sitter.
Hey, Dad. Lot of really uncomfortable lies in your outgoing message.
Where are you, I'm starting to get nervous. I'm about to have my interview.
I don't know where you are. Could you...
Miss Fox? Yes. I am, I am Miss Fox.
I am Kate Fox. I'm ready to come in there and blow it up. Pow!
I'll be with you in a few minutes. My skirt is too short.
I just wanted to let you know.
Dad. Hey, what are you doing here? Toasting a business relationship.
I know that cardigan. Mustard stain, upper right.
I've a few questions about that.
Katy primed the pump, I'm just getting water.
Here we go, Kate, Kate, Kate. Where is the golden child?
Oh, right, I was supposed to meet her for an audition or interview or... something.
Ah, well, she'll be OK. What?
Well, I can't leave now. Dad, you were supposed to be there for her.
She doesn't have your confidence,
so I wrote a thing for her to memorise.
She'll fake her way right through it.
There were lots of things when you were growing up I wasn't there for.
But you guys were always fine on your own.
We weren't on our own, Dad.
Did that feel heavy? That felt really dramatic on my end.
Feel like I haven't blinked in a while.
So, I guess you could say I've overcome a lot in my life.
It's a heart-wrenching tale, let me tell you.
I'm a single mom, I've fought many battles,
that have made me something that escapes me right now.
I'll come back to that. And, erm, something about a road not taken.
I'm sorry, I feel like I digressed.
I digress.
What was the question? Would you like some water?
I'm sorry, I'm really not good at this. Could we reschedule?
Yes? Can I help you? I'm sorry to interrupt.
Buchanan's the name, Buchanan Jones.
I'm an adjunct professor and I believe you parked in the spot reserved for my Segway.
A word, please?
FYI, redheads are my Achilles' heel.
Dad gave me all this stuff to memorise--
You don't need to memorise anything and you don't need any tricks.
All you need to remember is that you're awesome.
You're not just related to Dad, you're related to me, OK?
Knock 'em dead. If you need me, I'll be out in the quad.
There are a bunch of co-eds that are vibing me super-hard.
I'll probably take off my shirt. Feels like they wanted that.
Hey...
Are you ready to continue?
Yeah. Yes, I am, actually. Erm...
Can we start over.
My name is Kate Fox and I really want to go back to college.
So, Ben, what do you think?
I kind of threw it together last minute but I believe I pulled it off.
Styrofoam cups? Cookies still in their packaging.
What is this, an AA meeting? Tsk!
I accept the things that I cannot change.
Like everything at this party.
What do you think of the dance? I love it, it's so pretty.
Yeah, I know. I hate it, too.
They look so cute. Yeah.
There's no, like, "Boo, I hate it here.
Can I leave? I need to go get drunk. Can I, please, uh, Kate? I don't know"
What's going on with you? Well, first, I'm already drunk.
And second, I'm not sure, but I think Buddy and I are in love.
Oh, no, I'm so sorry. Thank you.
You must be devastated. It's been very, very difficult.
Hey, sorry I'm late. How'd your thing go?
Hm.
It was good. Turns out I did not need you there.
You see? You're welcome.
Huh.
Go dance with your granddaughter.
Oh!
Here's your cut of the dough from the Soo deal.
May I cut in? Uh, no, you may not.
Grandpa! Hey, kiddo.
Keep smiling. Just act like that didn't just completely destroy you.
Keep smiling, having a great time.
He is never going to change. Nope.
But he is leaving tomorrow.
Ohhh... Gross.
Oh, come on! Tsk!
Ohhh... That was so sweet.
I know.
God, I hate him. I know, me too.
Thank you for being there for me.
Somebody has to be.
And I'll tell you what. Hm?
When you graduate, if you still want to open that bar, you can call it Ben's.
I'm never going to do that, Ben's is a stupid name.
But I did think of a way to thank you for today.
Aaah!
So, this is one of the songs I had planned for the father-daughter dance.
Let her rip.
♪ You want your first dance to be fun
♪ So don't just do it with anyone
♪ Do it with Daddy
♪ I'll choose the dress and the corsage
♪ We'll have some punch and fromage
♪ Do it with Daddy
♪ Yes, you're Daddy's little girl
♪ Like an acorn to a squirrel
♪ Do it with Daddy
I don't think this is a good idea. Why not?
For a lot of reasons.
Mostly the line 'Do it with Daddy'.
I'm feeling judged.
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